


looking for warmth

by downtothewire



Category: Marvel, Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 09:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16060259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downtothewire/pseuds/downtothewire
Summary: In a cold lonely night, the alcohol and jealousy get the better of Nico and Karolina. Will they resolve their issues or burn out?





	looking for warmth

The Runaways, as they were calling each other against Nico's will, were all sat around the fire pit trying to warm themselves. All of them, bar Molly, that is, who was already asleep after exhausting herself using her powers to set up camp.

They were becoming increasingly frustrated that the fire didn't seem to be doing its job. It was nearing winter, and even though they were in California, they were still freezing. They squeezed together trying to get warmth out of the limited blankets covering them, but nothing seemed to be working. They needed to think of something fast.

Karolina wished she could glow without giving away their location. She always felt warm when she did. It was like a rush of electricity pulsed constantly through her veins warming her skin in its wake. Not even Nico pressed tightly to her side was helping right now, and that usually did the trick.

"God, it's fucking freezing," Nico mumbled under her breath. Her arm tightly wrapped around Karolina's middle under the blanket. Her hand lightly squeezed Karolina's side and she drew in her breath - surprised, but not at all displeased.

"We have to come up with something," Chase exasperatedly proclaimed.

"I think I got it," Gert said. She stood up from her seat and walked towards the van - accidentally dragging the blanket off Karolina and Nico. This revealed to Alex Nico's arm around Karolina. He frowned at the sight. Both Karolina and Nico noticed, and Nico quickly pulled her arm away. Karolina looked down at her questioningly, but she was intently staring at Alex, who was trying to look anywhere but at them.

They all knew about their relationship, except for Alex. They were waiting for Nico to do something about that, but she kept putting it off - scared of his reaction. Karolina was sure that Alex knew too, they had been inseparable ever since they ran away. She guessed he was just waiting on a confirmation.

Gert came back holding a bottle of vodka, "This should do the trick."

"You're a genius," Chase said taking the bottle from her and making her to blush.

Karolina scooted away from Nico and closer to the fire - who spit a couple of embers that landed on the forest floor. This brought Nico's attention back to Karolina for a moment before Alex stood up drawing Nico's focus back to him.

"I'm going to bed," Alex announced.

"You don't wanna--" Chase started raising the bottle at him.

"Nah, I'm good. You guys have fun," Alex said, his head hanging low.

Karolina could see the storm brewing behind Nico's eyes. She seemed to be inching towards the end of the log, hesitating on whether to follow him or not.

"Go," Karolina told her, her voice low enough that only Nico could hear.

Nico turned to her with a questioning gaze. Karolina responded with what she believed to be a reassuring glance. Nico stood from beside her and chased after Alex. Karolina watched her go until she was out of sight. Her sulking was interrupted by the sight of a now opened vodka bottle being thrust in front of her.

"You need it more than us right now."

Karolina took the bottle from Chase's hand, and took a large swallow that burned on its way down. Karolina knew she shouldn't be jealous, that she had no reason to be jealous. Nico chose her, didn't she? But she couldn't help it. She saw the worried way that Nico watched Alex when she thought no one was looking. She should be logical about it and realize that Nico's worry comes from a place of friendship and maybe even guilt.

But right now Karolina couldn't be logical, because she was cold and she was annoyed and she was miserable and she really wished she had a bed to sleep in and, if she were honest with herself, she was jealous. These were all signals that she should've called it a night, but she didn't.

They were almost done with half the bottle when Nico came back, Karolina noticed her swollen eyes, and she immediately softened. She took a seat, and Karolina scooted closer to her. Nico rested her head on her shoulder, sighing.

"You okay?" Karolina asked.

Nico nodded softly against her, "Yeah. The talk with Alex was just rougher than I expected."

Karolina felt her body stiffen at Alex's name. She couldn't help the jealousy creeping up her skin and the alcohol wasn't helping. Where once her body felt warm at the contact with Nico, it now felt cold and distant.

When Nico noticed that Karolina's aloofness, she looked up and saw Karolina was lost in her own thoughts. She frowned, "Everything okay?"

Karolina nodded curtly while her gaze was lost in the fire - the light of it reflecting in her eyes. Nico pulled away from Karolina at the cold response and asked for the vodka bottle. Karolina's body shivered in relief. She wasn't cold anymore.

Nico noticed this, and started to chug the vodka to the best of her abilities. When she put the bottle down she felt the burn in her throat and the need to throw up. She scrunched her face in an effort to keep everything down, only relaxing the muscles when it succeeded. Nico suddenly felt cold again. Even though the vodka was flowing through her system and the fire burning in front of her - she felt cold.

"How about a game of truth or dare?" Gert said.

"No, thanks," Nico answered, coldly.

"Okay, then… Never have I ever?"

"No."

Gert looked between Nico and Karolina who were avoiding each other's gazes and then at Chase, who just shrugged.

"Wanna get out of here?" Chase mouthed.

Gert nodded, before turning to the other two, "We're gonna head out. Good night, guys."

"Good night," Karolina answered without looking at either of them. Nico just kept quiet - the light of the fire flickering on the side of her introspective face.

Gert and Chase took the opportunity of having both of them too consumed by their own thoughts to make fun of them and walked in the direction opposite of the van hand in hand. Nico and Karolina sat in silence watching the fire slowly start to die down.

When only one log was on fire, Nico stood from her seat and started to try and bring the fire back to life. She grabbed a couple of logs that were lying close by and brought them over. Karolina observed her every move, trying to decipher her body language. She watched as Nico pulled away the old logs, and added the new ones next to and on top of the one still burning. Nico didn't understand why the fire wasn't taking. She tried blowing on it to see if it would, but it didn't.

"You should probably add some dry leaves or something to help it start," Karolina mentioned behind her. Karolina had been camping a couple of times with her parents, before all of… you know.

"I know how to start a fire," Nico answered, the annoyance in her voice obvious. Out of stubbornness Nico decided to ignore Karolina's advice and kept blowing at the fire trying to make it pick up, but the one log kept steadily burning on its own.

Karolina sighed and stood up. She collected a couple of dry leaves around them, and walked back to the fire pit with them in her arms. The whole time, Nico kept her attention on the quickly dying fire. She poked Nico on the shoulder. Nico turned to see her extending them to Nico in a peace offering.

Nico turned back, "I said I could start the fire, Karolina," she said, not accepting the gesture.

"This'll help though," Karolina tried.

"I don't need your help," Nico answered coldly. Karolina's heart clenched and a pit situated itself in her stomach.

"Oh..." Karolina resigned. She dropped the leaves on the floor, and walked back to the log. She grabbed the vodka bottle and took a sip. She fought hard to keep herself from crying.

Nico kept trying to get the fire going, but would occasionally steal glances back at Karolina. Every time their gazes would meet as Karolina was looking intently at her like she was trying to figure her out.

Eventually Nico spoke first, "Could you stop staring?"

"Sorry," Karolina mumbled, though she kept looking at her.

"You're still staring, Kar," Nico said, her voice softer now.

"Are you mad at me?" Karolina found that her lips asked the question before her brain had the chance to catch up.

"I'm not mad, I'm confused," she said poking the fire.

"Why are you confused?"

Nico sighed, giving up on her quest to bring the fire back to life again. She turned around, "I think you like me, but then suddenly you go cold on me, like you would rather be anywhere but next to me."

"That's not true."

"That's what it seems like when you look that relieved when I pulled away."

Karolina doesn't answer. Her eyes drifted away from Nico and onto her own feet, deep in thought. She contemplated whether she should be vulnerable right now. Tell Nico the truth. Open up about her insecurities. But before she has a chance to dwell any further, Nico's already reacting. Her patience was thin that night, with the cold annoying her and the alcohol coursing through her bloodstream.

"It's true isn't it? I just told Alex, Karolina. God damn it! Couldn't you have told me before? Before I had to fight with him?" Nico knew she was reacting this way, because she was hurt. It wasn't fair that she would blame Karolina for her fight with Alex, but right now she didn't care. She was intoxicated and she wanted Karolina to hurt too. So, she subconsciously hit her where it hurt the most, and it worked.

"Why?" Karolina asked standing up to tower over Nico. Her eyes turned a different color that Nico had never seen before. "So, you could run back to him in case your back-up plan didn't work?"

Karolina knew where to hurt Nico right back. They should've gone to bed, when this all started, it could've all been avoided, but there was no turning back now.

"That's what you really think? That you're my back-up?" Nico asked scandalized.

"You've never done anything to prove me otherwise. What am I supposed to think when you keep letting go of me and tiptoeing every time he comes around, Nico?" Karolina, her eyes bloodshot, waved her arms dramatically and the liquor inside the bottle flew into the fire. It started back up in an almost explosion like way.

This took Nico by surprise, and she jumped back from it. She took a moment to compose herself looking at the fire with fear behind her eyes. Karolina had never seen Nico scared before and it made her want to hold her. Nico was always stoic in the face of danger, and now she was so on edge that a campfire set her off. Karolina felt horrible, but she couldn't stand down now. Could she?

Nico's heart shattered as she turned to Karolina, realization dawning on her face.

"I guess you don't know me at all then, Kar," She whispered almost inaudibly, but Karolina heard, "Maybe we shouldn't do this."

Nico turned towards the van - having just broken her own heart, she needed to get away. Karolina reached for her hand, but once she took it, Nico jerked it away. Nico left defeated, the usual swagger in her walk gone. Karolina realized that she messed up. She sat on the log by herself and stared at the now roaring fire until it started to die out again. The fire made her eyes water, but she kept them steady on the flames.

Eventually, Gert and Chase came out of the woods - both looking disheveled. Karolina tried not to think about what they had just done. It wasn't too hard, her mind was currently occupied by obsessive thoughts of Nico. Their giggling stopped once they saw Karolina sitting on the log, clearly broken. They approached her cautiously.

"You okay?" Chase asked.

Karolina shook her head to indicate she wasn't.

"You should get some sleep," Gert said, "We'll figure it all out in the morning."

Karolina didn't have the energy to fight anymore, so, she nodded and accepted the hand that Chase offered her to help her stand. She followed them to the van - leaving behind the bottle of vodka almost finished next to the burning out fire.

They opened the back, and found Nico and Molly were already sleeping. Alex was sleeping in the front. Nico found solace in a corner, affording no space for an extra person.

Karolina scooted into the opposite corner of the van and tried to fall asleep. This was her first time sleeping without Nico's arms around her ever since they left. Her night was filled with nightmares about glowing aliens and earthquakes.

Nico woke up at the break of dawn. She was never one to wake up early, even on the run, so, at first she was confused, but then she remembered last night and it hit her like a ton of bricks why she couldn't sleep. She didn't have Karolina. She didn't have her next to her and she wasn't even sure anymore if she had her at all.

She looked around her to see everyone sleeping. She got out of the van and decided to make the most out of what definitely was going to be a terrible day.

It was freezing outside and the sky was gloomy - the outside was all really a representation of how she felt inside, she thought sarcastically. She drank coffee to try and wake and warm herself up, but it barely worked. Her body had been increasing its tolerance to caffeine, she could tell. She wished she could drink more, but they had to conserve everything they could.

She walked towards the fire pit. In the place of the roaring fire from last night when Nico went to sleep, there were only ashes. Ashes that were once flames that burned out from the rigorous tests of time.

She grabbed a random stick off the ground and started poking around the logs absentmindedly. Her head was elsewhere. All she could think about was Karolina and what were they now. 'Maybe we shouldn't do this.' The words replayed themselves in Nico's brain like an echo. She regretted them the moment she spoke, but she couldn't take them back. Not in the heat of the moment when the fire was reflecting in Karolina's blue eyes trying to convey a message Nico did not understand. Why did she ever think she was good enough for Karolina Dean? The relationship was doomed from the start.

Lost in her thoughts, Nico barely noticed when she came upon an ember that was still burning at the bottom of the pit. With a new sense of determination, she made it her mission to bring the fire back to life.

She grabbed the dry leaves that Karolina had dropped the night before from the ground and placed them on top of the ember. The leaves started to smoke and Nico's heart overflowed with hope. Maybe not everything was lost. But just as fast as the leaves smoked, they burned out, the fire never catching after all. Nico watched with glazed over eyes, hope gone from them.

Then she felt hope poked her on the shoulder. She shifted to see Karolina standing there. She had a shy hesitant way about her that Nico didn't see often. She looked at her curiously before she reached into her jean pocket and handed her a lighter.

This made Nico laugh lightly, some color returning to her cheeks and a spark to her eyes. Karolina always knew how to diffuse a situation.

"We always worked better together," Karolina told her in a small voice, before crouching down next to her and helping her start the fire back up. A sentiment Nico couldn't agree with more.

Once it was steadily burning in front of them, both of them sat on the log. Karolina sat a couple of inches away from Nico, but Nico scooted closer and rested her head on Karolina's shoulder - much to Karolina's relief.

"What happened last night?" Nico asked after moments of comfortable silence.

"I don't know," Karolina answered.

"Don't lie to me, Kar. We both know you do," Nico said without any malice. When Karolina didn't continue, Nico continued for her, "I'm sorry I was mean. That I said what I did. I didn't mean it. It wasn't your fault I fought with Alex. It was a long time coming."

Karolina exhaled, "I know you didn't mean it. It's just..." She trailed off, her eyes focused on the fire. Nico pulled away from her shoulder to look at her, but she wouldn't meet Nico's gaze.

"It's just what? You can tell me."

"I saw you go after Alex and it just brought back these feelings of feeling inadequate, not enough for you. Like I'm your second choice."

Nico's face reflected her worry, "Karolina, can you look at me please?"

Karolina eyes tore themselves away from the flames and onto Nico's brown ones.

"I like you. You're not my second choice. I don't know how to make that more obvious to you, but I really like you. A lot more than I've liked anyone before."

"I like you too," Karolina answered with a soft smile and a heart swollen with pride.

"If you ever have any doubts, just ask me, okay?"

Karolina nodded.

"Good," Nico said before leaning in to peck her lip, "I think it's kinda cute that you were jealous."

"I wasn't jealous!" Karolina screeched, her mouth agape.

The humor in Nico's eyes were obvious as she raised an eyebrow at her in challenge.

"Okay, maybe I was a little jealous," she accepted and looked away from Nico.

Nico gently guided her chin, "I think it's cute." She leaned in and started to lazily kiss Karolina. They moved their lips slowly against each other as if memorizing the texture. But then Karolina bit Nico's bottom lip, and Nico pulled away.

"Too much?" Karolina asked - her lips were swollen and her cheeks flushed.

Nico shook her head and leaned back in. This time her kiss was more aggressive. Nico started to push Karolina back when her feet knocked the bottle that was left behind and the liquor found its way back to the fire. Once again the flames started to roar. Nico and Karolina pulled apart and laughed at the weird series of coincidences that the fire seemed to present right now - almost as if it were sentient, magical.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the pun in the description, it was stronger than me.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story. In a comparative literature class of mine, we talked about how fire was a subtle metaphor for the passing of time, and I wanted to bring that concept into this story. I hope it wasn't too much, haha. Tell me what you think.
> 
> Thank you for reading, you are awesome. <3.
> 
> Tumblr: downtothe-wire


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